How Your Mother Met Me

Taking us back through all the seasons that were How I Met Your Mother and stitching them together again in under thirty minutes—I have to say CBS, did a pretty good job.

The Mother probably wins out as among my favorite characters in the whole series, surely. Besides her questionable faith in the wrong MacLaren’s, one can easily discern where she matches and deviates from Ted in her own HIMYM subgroup. Did anyone peg the redhead as her “Marshall” or her “Barney?” She left me undecided.

As for the story, I did not expect it to read as sad from start to finish. Funny parts make not a comedy, and this episode was wholly tragic. All thanks to the Mother’s wonderful acting (and singing). How else can one spin the phrase, “Yes, this is she,” in that context?

I did, finally, like seeing how all the pieces of Ted’s misadventures come together with hers. Made for a pretty picture.

And, yes, I even enjoyed the sad of it. HIMYM made its name for its engaging plots and turntable emotions—not for being consistently funny, all the time. While my east coast confidantes might have FAILED TO MENTION how sad it would be, I must say I’m glad the episode surprised me.

And to think this all began from one failed “Have you met Ted?”

But who. Was in the car. With Lily?!

I hope. Sincerely, sincerely hope. The series does not end with Marshall and Lily’s divorce, or a failed Farhampton marriage, or something that wouldn’t resolve by the end of the season. It’s the LAST season. Put us through plot twists. Make our emotions dance like Pinocchio across a puppet stage, but don’t end nine years of work like that.

Of course, I’m speaking too many months too late on that front. All I can do now is hope for the best, tentatively prepare for the worst, and wait to see who picked Lily up and went. Here I was, hoping that would be the Mother, too.

PLEASE

The labor scenes helped me affirm what we already knew—that Ted found perfect, and they both found for keeps. The duo really seems to indicate they both accept each other’s faults.

Meanwhile, Lily’s on her way out the door and into the passenger seat of a questionable future.

Tell you what; the Farhampton Inn sure gets its share of business. Marked by their meeting, surely, Ted and his wife revisit the suite on the most esteemed—and unintentional—of days. The writers dotted the episode with flashbacks to the labor of their second son, Luke, first daughter Penny in tow on a morning after 2 a.m.

At least he got one Star Wars character into the mix.

In the present 2 a.m., however, Marshall sent Barney into all kinds of drunk trying to stall his fight with Lily. And so, Barney achieved truth serum drunk, a drunk so pervasive he spilled the beans of every major series secret. Most notably among them, he uncovered the meaning behind his vague career path: Please. Literally, “PLEASE,” an acronym that (in layman’s terms) stands for acting as the signature holder on less-than-legal documents so your company doesn’t have to. Evidently, the job—and risk—pays big.

And, of course, that he hired a ring bearER for the wedding. He did NOT say, however, that he didn’t hire a “bear.”

On the other side of the inn, when Marshall finally fails to stall his paused fight any longer, he and Lily fail to make any headway into the argument as it stands. In fact, it turns left and tracks back to the seven-year-old rendezvous to San Francisco. We’re not sure yet how Marshall kept his cool—or where Lily fled, conflict paused yet again—but we know that, in the end, it just has to work out for the longtime couple.

It has to.
Really.
Writers, really.

The Slapate Kid

Get it? Marshall? “Marshall Arts?”

Okay.

HIMYM once again prequels the slap of all slaps, with a very riveting slap-prenticeship story on behalf of Marshall Eriksen, who somehow trained in Shanghai (and Cleveland) for over a year in order to become a Slap master. Goes to show what happens when you take legendary consultation from an eight year old.

Confused yet? Read on.

Marshall, in an effort to scare Barney with his slapability, retold the story of how he gained his slapping prowess and superiority: by training under the tutelage of the three Slap Masters: Red Bird, White Flower, and…The Calligrapher. They maintain the creeds of Speed, Strength, and Accuracy, respectively. And they all mysteriously retired and did not physically age beyond approximately 32.

Red Bird instilled Speed with the slapprentice; then, atop Slap Mountain, deep in the Slapalachian range, White Flower taught him Strength.
The Calligrapher accidentally died, but he was able to give Marshall a succinct explanation of how to aim first.

All to focus Marshall’s energy into his fourth slap, The Slap, for Barney Stinson.

The episode finished with a tear-jerking, soul-filling rendition of You Just Got Slapped, followed by a slap montage (a slaptage) of all the HIMYM slap footage on record.

And that’s still with one slap left.

We don’t have much left of the series HIMYM. How will Marshall fulfill his last slap? Will he have the time before Robin and Barney take their slap-vows on their slap-wedding day? At the slapel? By the slap in next to the slapping shore?

Yes, okay, I’m done. Promise.

Favorite quotes include:

“Huh. That is much [gold].”
- Bar owner

“I wasn’t held slaptive in Shanghai.”
- Marshall

“The Punishing Scholarship of White Flower.”

“Brooooo.”

- The Calligrapher (and most definitely not Ted)

Next episode: Barney cannot tell a lie. Really, that’s all you need to know to get excited.

And now...

And now we enter in the episode of quickly wrapped plot twists.
No, not really. I chalk this episode up to be the funnier of the seasons’ and NOW see why this ended up something like a mid-season twist. Leaves me guessing what’s to come for the days ahead, however.

Sheldon makes use of his vacation days by latching onto everyone’s shoulder for the duration of the storyline. Really, with all the video games in his collection, I’m a little surprised.
Nevertheless, we see more signs that Sheldon, as a character, both deviates from the formula and adheres to the formula even more, one scene after another. Would anyone have seen him play ‘dog’ in season one, or even two or three? On the other hand, would he have as gracefully seen eye-to-eye with Penny during their car ride talk? Hardly.
I don’t know what to make of New Sheldon, but I hope we get some sort of indicator before Bert takes more advantage of Amy.

Speaking of, I hope Amy gets out from Bert’s shadow soon. He’s a walking social manipulator: someone who uses ones’ sympathy at the expense of their comfort, for their own pleasure. It’s too early to tell if they played off the scenes between them for laughs, or because laughter communicates the undercurrent issue a bit better for audiences. Hopefully, the audience took away that there’s a real issue when women have to consider a man’s emotions over her own; that it isn’t okay to not be interested in someone else; or that it isn’t okay that “no,” and no alone, isn’t reason enough not to pursue a person.

Although, if they do bring Bert back again, it could spark more…let’s call it ‘kinesthetic’ action from Sheldon Cooper. To be continued.

Lastly, a nod to Josh Peck for showing up on primetime TV once again! I picture Jesse as having an avid Vine in this universe, too.

I literally do not know what to expect from next week. This means the end of holiday hiatuses…on with the show!

"He's wrong."

Penny lands a big part for her ten years and counting on the Big Bang Theory—a scene on the hit (CBS) program NCIS/NCII/NCSTD. But between her wait for glory, Leonard’s awkwardness, and Sheldon’s new hobby, audiences spent most of their viewing time waiting to see who would drop the ball first.

Good news is, they retired the subpar-actress side of Penny, in lieu of a different avenue: the NCIS execs cutting her anticipated scene entirely, without notice. Penny’s grief reveals her true colors…and they’re not all bright. In a mix of Penny trapping Leonard, and Leonard acting brutal, the couple bickers over Penny’s future and marginal acting success.
Even insomuch as to stall a second proposal.
The Big Bang Theory certainly provided us with the cliffhanger of the season, a one-way ticket to the mid-season grind. We’re a ways off yet from the season finale, even if this certainly felt like one.

Sheldon, piqued by jokes (all of a sudden), spends the episode trying to algorithmically devise The Perfect Joke. This all coming from the man that can’t understand sarcasm and nuance, much less how to use those subtleties in joke-making. He might have stuck to puns, but no; Amy brunted the worst of his tests. But hey, he dropped trou for her too. No, I won’t add any context.

While the spotlight shone on Penny, Raj and Stuart did play a backseat with their communication practice. I don’t know about the rest of viewers, but Raj perhaps might find it easier to connect with others when he looks inward and checks his own self first. For someone with wide-strewn social anxiety, his private arrogance knows no bounds. And through the seasons, he’s only become more transparent.

Is Penny a hypocrite? Was Leonard right to not answer while Penny was drunk? Or did Leonard put his foot in his mouth, again? Leave your answers with CTVP on Facebook!