Vows

Robin lives through her long-time-coming wedding freak-out, Ted delivers the locket (but not in the way you think), Lily and Marshall renew their vows (for now), and Barney and Robin get married. It’s the second to last episode of How I Met Your Mother.

Admittedly, I didn’t think Ted went back into the water to fetch the locket in Central Park, but I was naïve enough to think Robin would believe that Barney found the locket and that would be that. Not a chance, not on THIS second to last episode before the whole series finale.

After Robin gets the truth out of Ted, she relives her exi-Stinson crisis and wonders whether Barney is really the right match for her. Ted said some amiable things—he always does—but in the end, didn’t stop Robin from fleeing the coop.

Or rather, trying to. Before she ran headlong into The Mother.

The Mother, ever useful (and almost more useful than Ted himself), encouraged the would-be Bride to take three deep breaths. Because those, she wisely counseled, could change everything.
The conflict resolved as one WOULD expect a conflict to resolve right before the series end, however: with Barney making the vow he should have promised all along. The vow of honesty.

Thirty minutes later, Barney Stinson and Robin Scherbatsky were finally married.
And they had a ring-bear. Bear.
Robin loved it.

Barney decided one true vow was better than many false vows, and Lily and Marshall decided evolving vows were better than vows left in stasis. Married life may not have been as glamorous as they imagined, but it ended up being married life. After realizing they broke most of their wedding vows by natural course of action, they borrowed the altar before the wedding and renewed their own vows, promising to keep renewing them as their marriage changed and evolved and grew. Aww. Vow dare they stay so perfect?
I’ll stop.

The previews almost slayed me. Next week can’t come slowly enough…but yes. Yes, next Monday will air the last ever, new episode of How I Met Your Mother. The kids can finally get up off that couch and change clothes.
Now that I think about it, Ted raised really polite kids, considering they seldom interrupted and, you know, never just got up and left.

My Magic Suit

Ted and the Mother might come to know each other’s stories, but—even if he shouldn’t live in those alone—the best stories can be told and heard again and again.

Just like How I Met Your Mother reruns come the end of March. I’m a mess.

Robin’s both too cool for school and too cool for Lily on the morning of her wedding day and, despite Marshall’s half-hazard help, can’t wait for Robin to have her wedding “moment;” be it a hair raising (shaving) freak-out, or sentimental break down. Determined to coax the stereotype out of our heroine, Lily bombards Robin with a ready-made Love Story Scrapbook. Next, Lily tests the limits of Robin’s relaxation by bringing up her borrowed photographer and threatening to wear her own wedding dress during the ceremony.

Lily just doesn’t know how Scherbatsky’s work—or that the most pivotal of moments, for them, lie with family. Robin’s mother came to the wedding after all, in a much-appreciated plot twist. Jersey and all.

Robin may be ready for her big day, but Barney shares anything but the same luck. After Ted traced him to “Sue Top’s” room, he discovers Barney narrowed down his suit choices to all of his suits, forcing the best man to step in and help. Finding an, ehem, dis-attached suit proved to be a chore. Ultimately, Ted persuaded Barney to pick the tailor-made suit because the memories were still “ahead.” Ted has the romantic touch Lily lacked with her wedding counterpart.
Don’t tell Lily.

Next episode: belts!

Not really. Next episode, another tie-in to the future Ted and the Mother hold together, and another episode closer to the looming series finale. Did February have to end so quickly?

Marshall vs The Machine

Marshall finally returns to the wedding party in the most amazing way possible! Darren the Devil tries breaking up friendships right and left—arguably intentionally—and destroying wedding bands. And one more person gets to meet The Mother.

So, who was most responsible for Ted and The Mother meeting? Marshall? Lily? Barney and Robin? Will the whole cast end up playing a key role?

Determined to walk from his five-mile bus stop, The Mother picks up Marshall and Marvin for the last, final, leg of their long journey. They both inspire one another to stand up to their problems and face confrontation.

(For the record, Marvin’s first word was “mommy.”)

Today in paradise, Ted, Barney, Robin, and Lily bemoan their missing Scotch (and Marshall) and Lily’s Italy dilemma. Then, along comes a spider. A mysterious invitee arrives hell-bent on destroying friendships via the Disney method, luring you in and conniving your problems.  The devil of which I speak is named Darren: lead singer of the wedding band. Yes, the Mother’s wedding band.

I have to say, this episode made my wintertime cold just a bit more bearable. Yes, Darren almost wrecked Lily and Robin’s friendship—and ousted Ted’s move to Chicago to Barney—yet all he accomplished happened to be making their friendships (and broships) stronger, more resolved. I mean, these are the friends they would go to jail for. That’s the dream. Lily even paused her anger toward Marshall; if there’s any theme for this season, it happens to be to trust in your marriages.

We didn’t get a sneak peek this premiere, but it doesn’t take a Darren to remind us our beloved series is swiftly coming to a close. Now, everyone is in place for the finale. The question is: what will it entail? And how can we ever say goodbye?

ZABKA-TAGE

The episode had a bit of slow going, I must admit. But there were a few highlights that had me laughing out loud by its end—it recovered enough to be endearing. Though let’s face it, it only did that after the monochrome 50’s era montage.

James finds his father to replace Barney and Robin’s old (deceased) reverend for the wedding: Rev. Sam Gibbs. Their wedding saved, and by close relation no less, Barney finally feels like he can take a load off.

And then he spies his parents arriving amicably. The naiveté of Leave It To Beaver overtakes him and he believes, however mistakenly, that his estranged father and mother can overcome their divorce (and one remarriage and two more kids) to reconnect and resume their relationship. The three R’s.

Or was his idea so mistaken? Once all his diabolical plans fail (and all his intermittent pauses), he and James both happen upon Barney’s mother and James’ father, the Reverend…reconnecting. James ended up achieving the dream, leaving Barney to settle with reality. But as Robin points out, he gets her, and James gets a family in lieu of his own impending divorce.

While Barney plans his Parent Trap shenanigans, he gives Ted a present to guard that he intends to give Robin later. Sure enough, Ted leaves the gift—a headshot of Wayne Gretsky—in plain sight in his room, where he later finds it mysteriously acquainted with a bottle of calligraphy ink. Okay, no one question the calligraphy ink. No one also question the nickname Detective Ted and the fact he has more than one exploit under his belt.

Believe it or not (I elect, not), Ted actually discovers the culprit: William Zabka, bent on framing Ted twice for his Best Man title. Yet, everything works out okay; Ted covers for the former child actor, Barney doesn’t rescind Ted’s role, and Lily gets to tackle someone again.

Next week, Marshall drives on without a car partner (drill baby drill baby drill-). And I will walk 500 miles--

Nicholas Sparks

Time for another How I Met Your Mother bullet-point recap because, as I noted just a few times throughout the episode, this plot line seemed a LOT like the plot we know and love (love?) from Season 8. Except, this time, the other side of the spinning coin. It would have annoyed me, had it not been for Barney’s big ending.

•        Barney accepts the challenge to console Robin from last week’s dilemma, where she discovers her mother won’t be attending the wedding. Lily then calls into question his challenge-faithfulness; he’s missed one challenge in his challenging career! How do they know he’ll complete this one? Well,
•        Barney explains that the only, the only, challenge he failed six months prior (after a fourteen-challenge streak from Robin and Lily), happened to be the challenge that led to him drafting his final playbook play: The Robin.
•        He meets the future Mother, his last (failed) conquest (“Weirdo alert!”), who—with astounding intuition—realizes right away Barney still hurts for Robin. She gives him the pep talk he needs to quit challenges, quit scoring girls’ numbers, and focus on The One. Robin.
•        Conversely, Marshall spends a globetrotter’s basketball game giving Ted a completely ulterior, and MUCH less helpful, pep talk of his own. Ted “Robin and I are completely platonic” Mosby thinks he’s all right remaining friends with Robin. Meanwhile, Marshall tries to give Ted his old eight-year-old spark back.
•        Eight years?
•        And as much as seeing lonely Ted pains my heart, I did enjoy how Barney managed to finally complete the old, along with the new, challenge. He emerges from the episode with a clean slate; the last girl he picked up was Robin.
•        Oh, right, and there was this tiny part where Ted repetitively turned down a lucrative job offer from Walter White. But, I have to say, Walter fell off the wagon a little bit with his persuasive skills.

Next week, watch Barney reconcile his parents. Or make his own mother flee the nuptials.