“An animal can be sacred and delicious.”

Sitting and anticipating my own Thanksgiving holiday, I must say I love the time of year all the TV specials begin airing. There’s Thanksgiving Charlie Brown. Home Alone.

Tonight, 8PM EST on CBS, we get Sheldon throwing up on a lot of clowns.

Happy turkey day.

No, no, I’m kidding. As one #CoolTVProps fan put it, this episode was the funniest aired in some time. Lots of poking fun, but what’s a holiday where a distant relative (or neighbor) doesn’t bruise someone’s feelings? Even if that relative happens to be a three-years distance husband you didn’t know you had.

Penny, en route to Mrs. Wolowitz’s house for Thanksgiving dinner with the group, discovered happenstantially that, yes, Las Vegas wedding chapels were real and licensed. And thus, for three years (or however many years now, on this show), she’s been married to her ex-boyfriend Zack. During the episode argument to follow, we see yet again Leonards’ failure to recognize what anyone else might be feeling past himself, and again Penny’s failure to communicate what she’s feeling. But I liked the sneak peek at the end over coffee—sounds like there might be more bridal bells in the future. For love this time. Or money.

While the girls and Raj prepare the meal, Bernadette sends Howard to try and warm up to her cold-as-ice father. He however, creature of habit, bonds instead with the only other person who didn’t want to be there: Sheldon. Sheldon so much so he broke PC the whole car ride across town. Get a couple beers in the Texan genius, and he’s no better, but he at least demonstrates a different…almost kinder?...side to his nature. Sheldon, bonding with anyone. Imagine!

And so, as many Thanksgiving specials should relate, they agree that family is family, no matter how broken or small. But always blame the husband if he’s never around. It’s faster.

ZABKA-TAGE

The episode had a bit of slow going, I must admit. But there were a few highlights that had me laughing out loud by its end—it recovered enough to be endearing. Though let’s face it, it only did that after the monochrome 50’s era montage.

James finds his father to replace Barney and Robin’s old (deceased) reverend for the wedding: Rev. Sam Gibbs. Their wedding saved, and by close relation no less, Barney finally feels like he can take a load off.

And then he spies his parents arriving amicably. The naiveté of Leave It To Beaver overtakes him and he believes, however mistakenly, that his estranged father and mother can overcome their divorce (and one remarriage and two more kids) to reconnect and resume their relationship. The three R’s.

Or was his idea so mistaken? Once all his diabolical plans fail (and all his intermittent pauses), he and James both happen upon Barney’s mother and James’ father, the Reverend…reconnecting. James ended up achieving the dream, leaving Barney to settle with reality. But as Robin points out, he gets her, and James gets a family in lieu of his own impending divorce.

While Barney plans his Parent Trap shenanigans, he gives Ted a present to guard that he intends to give Robin later. Sure enough, Ted leaves the gift—a headshot of Wayne Gretsky—in plain sight in his room, where he later finds it mysteriously acquainted with a bottle of calligraphy ink. Okay, no one question the calligraphy ink. No one also question the nickname Detective Ted and the fact he has more than one exploit under his belt.

Believe it or not (I elect, not), Ted actually discovers the culprit: William Zabka, bent on framing Ted twice for his Best Man title. Yet, everything works out okay; Ted covers for the former child actor, Barney doesn’t rescind Ted’s role, and Lily gets to tackle someone again.

Next week, Marshall drives on without a car partner (drill baby drill baby drill-). And I will walk 500 miles--

"What is wrong with you?!"

It’s a little late for Halloween talk, but Sheldon’s plans aren’t any less evil or diabolical. See how he cons Leonard into a “teachable moment,” how Penny needs to pick up a social skill or ten, and how Raj fares without his season premiere girlfriend, Lucy.

Night of the Living Lucy.

In Sheldon and Leonard’s “box of junk,” Leonard finds a DVD he knew he was supposed to return…seven years ago. (The Super Mario Brothers movie. I’ve seen it.) To communicate how he feels when an issue sits on his brain like, oh, say, an itchy sweater, Sheldon forces Leonard to wear the sweater until he can return the DVD in question. Leonard agrees, as always, to prove a point.

By the time his point transforms into a constellation of hives across his chest, Sheldon reveals he actually paid off the DVD way back when; then kept the movie around to teach lessons by.

I was waiting for Leonard to chuck the cover at Sheldon’s face. I would have. Dead center of the forehead.

But I’m not Leonard and his saint-like patience. This isn’t the first time we’ve seen a Sympathize with Sheldon theme arise from an episode this season. I wonder what the network aims to prove.

On the side, Penny spies Raj’s ex-girlfriend, Lucy, at The Cheesecake Factory. She clearly didn’t know about Lucy’s social anxiety (or know anything about how to define racism), because she made Lucy fly the coop and—repeatedly—manipulated Raj’s chances with any girl ever. Lucy or otherwise.

Lucy, as it turns out, is seeing someone else. Seems out of character to me, but I won’t question the writer’s decision to not bring her back for a closing curtain.

When the network announced next week’s Thanksgiving special, I admit, I had a brief moment: we never had a Thanksgiving special? Grab your cocoa and come back to the couch next Thursday at 8, where we figure out if Penny will earn her divorce.
That’s right. Her divorce.

Nicholas Sparks

Time for another How I Met Your Mother bullet-point recap because, as I noted just a few times throughout the episode, this plot line seemed a LOT like the plot we know and love (love?) from Season 8. Except, this time, the other side of the spinning coin. It would have annoyed me, had it not been for Barney’s big ending.

•        Barney accepts the challenge to console Robin from last week’s dilemma, where she discovers her mother won’t be attending the wedding. Lily then calls into question his challenge-faithfulness; he’s missed one challenge in his challenging career! How do they know he’ll complete this one? Well,
•        Barney explains that the only, the only, challenge he failed six months prior (after a fourteen-challenge streak from Robin and Lily), happened to be the challenge that led to him drafting his final playbook play: The Robin.
•        He meets the future Mother, his last (failed) conquest (“Weirdo alert!”), who—with astounding intuition—realizes right away Barney still hurts for Robin. She gives him the pep talk he needs to quit challenges, quit scoring girls’ numbers, and focus on The One. Robin.
•        Conversely, Marshall spends a globetrotter’s basketball game giving Ted a completely ulterior, and MUCH less helpful, pep talk of his own. Ted “Robin and I are completely platonic” Mosby thinks he’s all right remaining friends with Robin. Meanwhile, Marshall tries to give Ted his old eight-year-old spark back.
•        Eight years?
•        And as much as seeing lonely Ted pains my heart, I did enjoy how Barney managed to finally complete the old, along with the new, challenge. He emerges from the episode with a clean slate; the last girl he picked up was Robin.
•        Oh, right, and there was this tiny part where Ted repetitively turned down a lucrative job offer from Walter White. But, I have to say, Walter fell off the wagon a little bit with his persuasive skills.

Next week, watch Barney reconcile his parents. Or make his own mother flee the nuptials.

"That's true. You'd rust."

Professor Proton is back, Bill Nye tries to steal the show (let’s be real—he does), and Sheldon Cooper learns a little something about himself. This show addressed old problems from Season 1 and introduced brand-new dilemmas. Like Sheldon’s fresh restraining order.

Why doesn’t Arthur just get a restraining order?

Sheldon spies Arthur (AKA, Professor Proton) in the pharmacy, oblivious to how their last meeting ended, and forces himself upon him unceremoniously. After the encounter, Amy tries to ease Sheldon into the idea that he might be a little…annoying. She can’t say as much—Sheldon annoyingly tries to make her—but he doesn’t need to be told twice.

Arthur expounds the reality when he sidesteps Sheldon and asks Leonard to review his paper and conduct his experiment. Leonard, much to Sheldon’s dismay, happily agrees. Sheldon, pride bruised, seeks the only person that could remedy the situation: another model. Enter, Bill Nye the Science Guy, the only science show-host any of us really remember.

Sheldon misses his chance with "bowtie"—and earns a brand new legal document—but renews his ‘friendship’ with Professor Proton and, indirectly, might be the link between Arthur and a hot date with one of Penny’s grandmothers.

Howard and Raj, in the other court, butt heads when Howard invades on one of Raj’s Ladies Nights, only to learn that Raj took the opportunity to get away from him and air his feelings in private. Ouch. Although, the show made the issue present for some time now; they were bound to address it sooner or later.

Raj might maintain stereotypically feminine interests, but they don’t erase, nor negate, his other fine qualities. Or so Howard learns.

Howard also learns Raj lacks quite a bit of forethought, in the form of Star Wars apparel.

And so, on both fronts, I can summarize the episode as such:
“I’m not going to bother him…I’m going to talk to him!”