Ted's Greatest Hits

Now, to say Ted’s been on a “faire” number of dates probably pushes the envelope—of too few. Ted Mosby’s been around his block, and ten blocks in either direction, once before. He eventually raises a good point: what if he ignorantly already passed by The One, missing his chance? What if his solution lies in revisiting old neighborhoods?

While his friends dissuade him from this line of thinking, they bring him (and us), a walk down memory lane: Ted’s Greatest Hits, as presented by Lifetime.

1. Steph
“Back when I lived in LA, I was pretty broke, so I spent a month making adult films.”
“Wow, uh…how many did you make?”
“175.”

Maybe she really was a hard worker?

2. Jackie

“Once, when I was 16, I was driving and I hit this hitchhiker! I don’t know what happened to him. Just kept driving.”

We agree, Ted: ah, no.

3. Natalie

“You dumped a porn star?!”

…Okay, Barney’s quote. Natalie at the time just seemed like such a good deal, she didn’t have many cons in this clip. Unless you take the by proxy con that she wasn’t a porn star like Steph.

I feel for Natalie. While the list wasn’t proficiently long, it goes to show therein none of these options (so we think) like The Mother. But I wouldn’t put the blame entirely on Nat in this scenario, despite her vicious Krav Maga. Two birthday breakups would kill anyone’s spirits—honestly, Ted Mosby might have planned a bit better.

Natalie may have married and had three children, starting a year from the epic breakup, yet the story doesn’t end right away. Marshall reportedly consoled her this last occasion, and then possibly after a third nondescript hookup, later. Ted Mosby has more charm that he lets on if he can pick up the pieces of that carelessness!