"I've seen things."

How does every cast member answer what their true love gave them on the first day of Christmas? Judging by their holiday daydreams, I’d first ask who was their true love of the hour. Then I could guess how Sheldon Cooper WOULDN’T reply.

Excuse me: Uncle Dr. Cooper.

That’s right, Sheldon’s sister is having a baby boy this holiday season, and Sheldon departed for Texas to take part in the home birth. Meanwhile, the rest of the cast (and Stuart) came over to the fourth-floor abode to decorate the tree and reminisce on episodes of season’s passed.

One small segue later and the team discover they actually wouldn’t be connected in the way they thought had it not been for their esteemed friend and roommate. This, of course, leaves them to wonder what their lives would be like Sheldon-less. In the holiday spirit of It’s a Wonderful Life, The Big Bang Theory team unravels what I could only dub a fangirl’s wish episode sprung to life.

While Sheldon’s brutally scarred by witnessing the live birth, Leonard, Penny, Amy, Howard, Raj, and Bernadette par down who they might have met instead, who they’d have to do without, and what paths would have never crossed at all.

Stuart jumps in from time to time.

Deep breath all:

Penny would have still lived across the hall from Sheldon, and according to Amy would thusly have fallen madly in love with the double Ph.D. On the other hand, she would ultimately end up with someone like Zack, who handles himself better than Leonard while Leonard lives (and consumes inordinate amounts of food) with Raj and Stuart, leaving Howard to violently revere his late mother and Amy to celebrate birthdays alone.
Bernie might have more or less progressed.

How’s this for a holiday number? Should Amy and Sheldon’s relationship shift by the end of the season? Should they repeat their holiday special next year? 

The Saturnalia Miracle

In the bustle of the holiday season—Hanukkah or Christmas or whichever winter celebration you uphold—sometimes we forget the spirit of it all. What really lights the candle, so to speak. Even if the origins of either holiday are lost in the vapors of history:

“In the pre-Christian era, as the winter solstice approached and the plants died, pagans brought evergreen boughs into their homes as an act of sympathetic magic, intended to guard the life essences of the plants until spring. This custom was later appropriated by Northern Europeans and eventually it becomes the so-called Christmas tree.”

-- Sheldon Cooper, on the festival Saturnalia

Though one episode of the Big Bang Theory encapsulates this spirit, the warmth and happiness we try and create by spending money and giving lavish gifts. Receiving might be nice, yet as we continually discover, anticipating is better, and giving—and waiting—is best.

In the season 2 episode, The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis, Sheldon feels “obligated” to return Penny’s well-meaning Christmas gift and toils over “reciprocity.” Eventually, Sheldon purchases an array of bath-sets, of varying items and expenses, to be fully prepared for whichever gift Penny bestowed.

Sheldon, however, lacked one simple lesson: it’s the thought that counts. That thought—and in Penny’s case, a massive stroke of luck.

As we know from the episode, Leonard Nimoy, the actor and genius behind Spock from the original Star Trek, signs a Cheesecake Factory napkin for Penny. She gives this napkin (complete with his DNA) to Sheldon as a present. One person’s dirty napkin, however, becomes another person’s treasure, and Sheldon discovers he clearly underestimated friendship’s meaning.
Of knowing someone so well, the smallest, most inexpensive gift becomes the greatest prize of their lives.

So big a prize, five bath-sets and a shaky hug don’t even begin to cover the payback.

I’ll leave you with this inverse Magi’s gift for the holidays, before tomorrow’s Big Bang Theory special. Tune in on CBS!

She Could Have Said "Antler"

I try and stay mindful of the other holidays people acknowledge this season, even though I myself celebrate Christmas, by looking for all-inclusivity in our three favorite TV shows and episodes. By a happy accident, this morning someone asked if I remembered Phoebe Buffay’s Central Perk holiday song?

I had. Then I felt possessed to write an article about it.

I actually wouldn’t put it past Phoebe to go up to the nearest mall Santa and ask for Christmas wishes for her friends, as she describes in this little number: Went to the store / Sat on Santa’s lap / asked him to bring my friends / all kinds of crap. Nevertheless, she ends up portraying different customs and holidays in a manner to suit the gang, if not stretching her creativity a bit thin in a few spots.

For those of you missing out on the genius, the song plays as follows. And-a one, two, three!:

[cont.] He said all you need is to write them a song,

They haven’t heard it yet, so don’t try to sing along.

 Don’t try to sing along…

Monica, Monica,

Have a happy Hanukkah!

Saw Santa Claus

He said hello to Ross.

And please tell Joey

Christmas will be snowy!

And Rachel and Chandler

Havea—[mumbled jibberish]—andler!

The song may not make your car-ride holiday playlist this season, but I consider it a seasonal sitcom classic nonetheless. There aren’t too many of those! Though as I’ve mentioned before, F.R.I.E.N.D.S and other shows aren’t shy in the Christmas-and-others-special department; and I’m always down for one of Phoebe’s guitar renditions.

Big Bang Theory

Don’t make Santa Clause weary…

Give a stocking stuffer

To How I Met Your Mother…

Oh well. I’m no Phoebe when it comes to writing lyrics. I…tried.

For the Marriage

“You see, I have to play Dungeons and Dragons. For the marriage.”

So begins the Big Bang Theory Christmas special, where our scientists break their Saturday commitments with their significant-others for an “epic” night of Dungeons and dragons. Out of the frying pan, into the fire, am I right?
Kidding, kidding. Though, regardless of which dungeon they choose for the evening, the girls find their own method of retaliation. Sweetness, and Santa, abound.

I can appreciate the nerdy twist CBS gave the seasonal episode. While it didn’t shock me in the slightest Sheldon didn’t care for Christmas, the Yuletide D&D was a nice surprise! Leonard put a lot of care into giving back a game for his friends, a bold act for one without very many, or merry, Christmases themselves.

In the meantime, the ladies (and Raj, for lack of a “resurrection rod”) opted for a “girl’s night, girl’s night!” out on the town in their best and brightest. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I felt the one-on-one moment between Raj and our femme fatales was a long time coming. I about cheered when Penny made the last-minute turn-around.

Despite the unexpected dream-sequence ending (not the series’ first), Sheldon, and a few other cast notables, found their own brand of polishing Christmas cheer. Sheldon revealed why he held Good Claus Santa in such contempt, even through three whole rounds of Good King Wenceslas. Raj learned a lesson while out with the girls in behavior and camaraderie while bonding with Amy over what it means to be alone—and what to look for in “together.”
And Leonard learned the true meaning of Dungeons and Dragons, along with perhaps not opting out on his girlfriend next time.

With just a few more days to the anticipated holidays, and several days into Howard’s Hanukkah, CBS chooses this particular brand of humor to wish you all a safe and sound season of joy.

“It’s a game of the imagination, Leonard. Paint a picture.”

-- Sheldon Cooper, as played by Jim Parsons, multi-nominee for best lead actor in a comedy series!

On the First Day of FRIENDSmas:

“I’m the holiday Armadillo!”

-- Ross

I may or may not devote an occasional series, leading up to the Christmas holiday, of epic FRIENDS Christmas episodes. You’ll get your answer depending on how many more episode recaps I publish.

This episode focuses on the endearing Ross, trying to bring Hanukkah cheer to his son, Ben, already broken-hearted for lack of a visit from Santa. Those of you well-enough acquainted with the episode already know: Ross barters with a costume-retailer and finds…an armadillo.
Keep in mind Ross only asked if there was something, anything. And the retailer comes up with…armadillo.

I wonder if the FRIENDS staff came across an armadillo costume they needed to use, or lose.

“Well come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted, coming all the way from…Texas!”

-- Monica

After Chandler and his enthusiastic Santa role—despite the lack of bowlful-of-jelly-belly—discourages Ben further, Ross collaborates and brings Santa along in a second visit to Ben, just in time for Christmas.

“Um, because if Santa and the Holiday Armadillo are even in the same room for too long, the universe will implode! Merry Christmas!”

-- Chandler, after Ben asks why he (Santa) has to leave.

I actually really like that they give attention to the topic, for the year it premiered, especially. Media exposes the issue more, now, but then the object of FRIENDS was to relate to common issues and, more importantly, offer ways to teach audiences to breach those issues. With comedy.
True, not every audience member relates to some of their crazier antics (I think of wearing a turkey on your head, right off the bat), but a prevalent topic sits just under the Armadillo costume. After all, he worked real hard to get all the way to Manhattan from Texas.

I’m not going to try and fit an armadillo in a pair tree for you—I’ll leave you with the promise I’ll consider eleven more days of FRIENDSmas. Until then.