Marshall vs The Machine

Marshall finally returns to the wedding party in the most amazing way possible! Darren the Devil tries breaking up friendships right and left—arguably intentionally—and destroying wedding bands. And one more person gets to meet The Mother.

So, who was most responsible for Ted and The Mother meeting? Marshall? Lily? Barney and Robin? Will the whole cast end up playing a key role?

Determined to walk from his five-mile bus stop, The Mother picks up Marshall and Marvin for the last, final, leg of their long journey. They both inspire one another to stand up to their problems and face confrontation.

(For the record, Marvin’s first word was “mommy.”)

Today in paradise, Ted, Barney, Robin, and Lily bemoan their missing Scotch (and Marshall) and Lily’s Italy dilemma. Then, along comes a spider. A mysterious invitee arrives hell-bent on destroying friendships via the Disney method, luring you in and conniving your problems.  The devil of which I speak is named Darren: lead singer of the wedding band. Yes, the Mother’s wedding band.

I have to say, this episode made my wintertime cold just a bit more bearable. Yes, Darren almost wrecked Lily and Robin’s friendship—and ousted Ted’s move to Chicago to Barney—yet all he accomplished happened to be making their friendships (and broships) stronger, more resolved. I mean, these are the friends they would go to jail for. That’s the dream. Lily even paused her anger toward Marshall; if there’s any theme for this season, it happens to be to trust in your marriages.

We didn’t get a sneak peek this premiere, but it doesn’t take a Darren to remind us our beloved series is swiftly coming to a close. Now, everyone is in place for the finale. The question is: what will it entail? And how can we ever say goodbye?

"I've seen things."

How does every cast member answer what their true love gave them on the first day of Christmas? Judging by their holiday daydreams, I’d first ask who was their true love of the hour. Then I could guess how Sheldon Cooper WOULDN’T reply.

Excuse me: Uncle Dr. Cooper.

That’s right, Sheldon’s sister is having a baby boy this holiday season, and Sheldon departed for Texas to take part in the home birth. Meanwhile, the rest of the cast (and Stuart) came over to the fourth-floor abode to decorate the tree and reminisce on episodes of season’s passed.

One small segue later and the team discover they actually wouldn’t be connected in the way they thought had it not been for their esteemed friend and roommate. This, of course, leaves them to wonder what their lives would be like Sheldon-less. In the holiday spirit of It’s a Wonderful Life, The Big Bang Theory team unravels what I could only dub a fangirl’s wish episode sprung to life.

While Sheldon’s brutally scarred by witnessing the live birth, Leonard, Penny, Amy, Howard, Raj, and Bernadette par down who they might have met instead, who they’d have to do without, and what paths would have never crossed at all.

Stuart jumps in from time to time.

Deep breath all:

Penny would have still lived across the hall from Sheldon, and according to Amy would thusly have fallen madly in love with the double Ph.D. On the other hand, she would ultimately end up with someone like Zack, who handles himself better than Leonard while Leonard lives (and consumes inordinate amounts of food) with Raj and Stuart, leaving Howard to violently revere his late mother and Amy to celebrate birthdays alone.
Bernie might have more or less progressed.

How’s this for a holiday number? Should Amy and Sheldon’s relationship shift by the end of the season? Should they repeat their holiday special next year? 

“An animal can be sacred and delicious.”

Sitting and anticipating my own Thanksgiving holiday, I must say I love the time of year all the TV specials begin airing. There’s Thanksgiving Charlie Brown. Home Alone.

Tonight, 8PM EST on CBS, we get Sheldon throwing up on a lot of clowns.

Happy turkey day.

No, no, I’m kidding. As one #CoolTVProps fan put it, this episode was the funniest aired in some time. Lots of poking fun, but what’s a holiday where a distant relative (or neighbor) doesn’t bruise someone’s feelings? Even if that relative happens to be a three-years distance husband you didn’t know you had.

Penny, en route to Mrs. Wolowitz’s house for Thanksgiving dinner with the group, discovered happenstantially that, yes, Las Vegas wedding chapels were real and licensed. And thus, for three years (or however many years now, on this show), she’s been married to her ex-boyfriend Zack. During the episode argument to follow, we see yet again Leonards’ failure to recognize what anyone else might be feeling past himself, and again Penny’s failure to communicate what she’s feeling. But I liked the sneak peek at the end over coffee—sounds like there might be more bridal bells in the future. For love this time. Or money.

While the girls and Raj prepare the meal, Bernadette sends Howard to try and warm up to her cold-as-ice father. He however, creature of habit, bonds instead with the only other person who didn’t want to be there: Sheldon. Sheldon so much so he broke PC the whole car ride across town. Get a couple beers in the Texan genius, and he’s no better, but he at least demonstrates a different…almost kinder?...side to his nature. Sheldon, bonding with anyone. Imagine!

And so, as many Thanksgiving specials should relate, they agree that family is family, no matter how broken or small. But always blame the husband if he’s never around. It’s faster.

ZABKA-TAGE

The episode had a bit of slow going, I must admit. But there were a few highlights that had me laughing out loud by its end—it recovered enough to be endearing. Though let’s face it, it only did that after the monochrome 50’s era montage.

James finds his father to replace Barney and Robin’s old (deceased) reverend for the wedding: Rev. Sam Gibbs. Their wedding saved, and by close relation no less, Barney finally feels like he can take a load off.

And then he spies his parents arriving amicably. The naiveté of Leave It To Beaver overtakes him and he believes, however mistakenly, that his estranged father and mother can overcome their divorce (and one remarriage and two more kids) to reconnect and resume their relationship. The three R’s.

Or was his idea so mistaken? Once all his diabolical plans fail (and all his intermittent pauses), he and James both happen upon Barney’s mother and James’ father, the Reverend…reconnecting. James ended up achieving the dream, leaving Barney to settle with reality. But as Robin points out, he gets her, and James gets a family in lieu of his own impending divorce.

While Barney plans his Parent Trap shenanigans, he gives Ted a present to guard that he intends to give Robin later. Sure enough, Ted leaves the gift—a headshot of Wayne Gretsky—in plain sight in his room, where he later finds it mysteriously acquainted with a bottle of calligraphy ink. Okay, no one question the calligraphy ink. No one also question the nickname Detective Ted and the fact he has more than one exploit under his belt.

Believe it or not (I elect, not), Ted actually discovers the culprit: William Zabka, bent on framing Ted twice for his Best Man title. Yet, everything works out okay; Ted covers for the former child actor, Barney doesn’t rescind Ted’s role, and Lily gets to tackle someone again.

Next week, Marshall drives on without a car partner (drill baby drill baby drill-). And I will walk 500 miles--

"What is wrong with you?!"

It’s a little late for Halloween talk, but Sheldon’s plans aren’t any less evil or diabolical. See how he cons Leonard into a “teachable moment,” how Penny needs to pick up a social skill or ten, and how Raj fares without his season premiere girlfriend, Lucy.

Night of the Living Lucy.

In Sheldon and Leonard’s “box of junk,” Leonard finds a DVD he knew he was supposed to return…seven years ago. (The Super Mario Brothers movie. I’ve seen it.) To communicate how he feels when an issue sits on his brain like, oh, say, an itchy sweater, Sheldon forces Leonard to wear the sweater until he can return the DVD in question. Leonard agrees, as always, to prove a point.

By the time his point transforms into a constellation of hives across his chest, Sheldon reveals he actually paid off the DVD way back when; then kept the movie around to teach lessons by.

I was waiting for Leonard to chuck the cover at Sheldon’s face. I would have. Dead center of the forehead.

But I’m not Leonard and his saint-like patience. This isn’t the first time we’ve seen a Sympathize with Sheldon theme arise from an episode this season. I wonder what the network aims to prove.

On the side, Penny spies Raj’s ex-girlfriend, Lucy, at The Cheesecake Factory. She clearly didn’t know about Lucy’s social anxiety (or know anything about how to define racism), because she made Lucy fly the coop and—repeatedly—manipulated Raj’s chances with any girl ever. Lucy or otherwise.

Lucy, as it turns out, is seeing someone else. Seems out of character to me, but I won’t question the writer’s decision to not bring her back for a closing curtain.

When the network announced next week’s Thanksgiving special, I admit, I had a brief moment: we never had a Thanksgiving special? Grab your cocoa and come back to the couch next Thursday at 8, where we figure out if Penny will earn her divorce.
That’s right. Her divorce.