Ordi—why wait for it—nary! Ordinary!

Only one show has the power to bring me from horribly ruptured in one moment, to slamming my keyboard in sheer delight in the next. This show, right now, is How I Met Your Mother. And this is Barney’s Bro-Mitzvah.

Let’s break it down.

Barney, for his epic bachelor party (I think it could have been “bro”chelor party), gave his four friends ultra-specific guidelines to follow—in near-Hebrew font, no less! While I adjusted to the dradle-drabble, Barney left Robin, Ted, Marshall, and Lily with no real room for error or surprise.

We’ll get to their fix later.

“Precious little love-love.”
“First of all, it’s wuv-wuv.”

-- Robin and Barney

Ted and Marshall kidnap Barney before a dinner he’d planned with his fiancé and mother to go to Atlantic City for his party. And things go just about as well as you’d guess from someone that had to bail on their future bride to go gamble with bros.  I.e., the very opposite of well.

The two wingmen sort of follow Barney’s list, though not in the ways Barney (nor I) expected. They pulled stunts like:

> Reserving a motel room outside Atlantic City,

> Ordering a balloon “contortionist”; a clown,

> Inviting the wrong Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio, to the party instead of the true Karate Kid,

> Hiring Quinn as the stripper. Yes, that Quinn,

> and forcing Barney into losing eighty-thousand dollars in Chinese gambling money.

Barney doesn’t learn until the reception at his apartment that his friends were actually planning the only thing they learned from him for sure. A play.
This one is called: The Barney.

In essence, The Barney means giving this soon-to-be-former bachelor a night he’ll never forget, not by giving him the BEST night, but by giving him the WORST.

They even did a stellar job of delivering, in the end, the “true” Karate Kid.

It was the clown. The clown was the Karate Kid.
Commence keyboard smashing.

Ships

Let’s talk about ships.

Sit down Capt’n, I don’t mean your ship. I mean RELATIONships, ‘ships for short. Where did I get the abbreviation? How can relationship become a verb? I.e, who do you ship more? Leonard/Penny? Rachel/Ross?
“Shamy?” (More like Sham-wow, amirite?)

Allow me to explain the Internet science behind the shipping phenomenon and subculture.

Simply put, ship is short for relationship, but fans and Internet dwellers mostly use the term in the verb form, “to ship” or “shipping.” Shipping only means, the act of pairing two characters into a relationship.
Used in the English (?) language, “ship” works as follows:

“I really ship Monica and Chandler!” says the happy-go-lucky F.R.I.E.N.D.S old-timer.
“I sort of liked shipping Monica and Richard instead,” replies the no doubt disappointed fan, once their ‘ship’ didn’t become ‘canon’ (that is, the relationship didn’t become an actuality within the show).
“I ship Howard and Bernadette so hard. They’re my OTP!” screams the Big Bang Theory follower from the 21^st century.
(OTP? One True Pairing. But learning the in’s and out’s of a “true pairing” would take a whole other article.)

And as if all this weren’t confusing enough for the first-time reader (I’ll make the manual soon), all relationship pairings have…”ship names.” Har har. Names are usually derived from combining the names of the two characters (think Brangelina), but in some cases, the combinations are better left un-fused.

The S.S.’s stand as follows:

Monica and Chandler: Monica/Chandler (the F.R.I.E.N.D.S fans stayed away from “Mandler” here)

Rachel and Ross: Rachel/Ross (Ross and Rachel make…”Rachel”)

Leonard and Penny: Leonard/Penny or Lenny

Sheldon and Amy: Shamy

Howard and Bernadette: Howard/Bernadette or Howardette

Marshall and Lily: Marshall/Lily, Marshmallow, or Lilypad (can we say, awww.)

Ted and The Mother: The Mothership (badumbsh)

Barney and Robin: Bro-Love (although I personally use Brobin for the bro-mention)

Just to name a few.
Which ship will you board? Are you a passenger of one, several, or a ship not listed? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

Should I Go?

This episode was about closure of all sorts. Penny not being able to find what really unlocks her passions—Sheldon not being able to handle an unfinished sentence…or series. I know that feeling, Sheldon. I still weep over Firefly.

But both sides have supportive significant others at their sides to help them along the way, and—finally—we see a whole cast of Big Bang Theory characters at work.

Things I learned: Penny is basically Buffy. Or, would be, if she could finish more than two episodes of an otherwise perfect series. Leonard tries his hardest to find something the both of them can watch, with plenty of powerful female characters and sci-fi add-ins, but Penny just isn’t having it. Claims she just doesn’t get excited…about “stuff.”

Fortunately, she learns she doesn’t need to be hyper passionate about one subject, topic, or fandom, because she’s just that passionate about the people already around her. Leonard, the apartment of scientists, Amy, Bernadette. Eh about Howard.

But Leonard can forget the cosplay opportunities; one New Years as Wonder Woman was enough for her.

“Leonard I had an epiphany, not a stroke.”
-- Penny, to Leonard, denying him Comic-Con antics.

Sheldon discovers when his current favorite TV series, Alphas, becomes cancelled (go Alphas for the spotlight, I guess?), he may have an issue accepting closure. Enter his neuro-scientist girlfriend Amy, whom Sheldon swears knows nothing about pent-up frustration without any hope for release. No, she doesn’t suffer that whatsoever.
But she does force him to jump through a plethora of hoops without any conclusion: swiped tic-tac-toe games, unfinished Pledge of Allegiances, “Pop Goes The—,” “Legen…wait for it…”
No, wait. Wrong show.

I think Sheldon cheated; he got his, finishing all his hitherto unfinished tasks, by the end of the episode, whereas Amy still trudges home alone every night denied physical contact. It’s a slow “when” for “Shamy,” but I believe they’ll get there eventually.

Now to wait eagerly for the next new episode. We already know what Raj is doing in the meantime; we have his security camera.

Have? Get.

You’ve perused our store and picked up your favorite set props and gifts. Now what? Plan on using them as coffee table knick-knacks for the rest of their days? Does this mean the end for your eclectic shopping? All is fine, we might add, but your blogger’s going to try their hand at finding creative ways to pair Cool TV Props with something else that’s totally cool. Something Barney would approve of. So that someday Barney will recognize my bro status. I’m waiting for it, Stinson.

Have the Rock-‘em-Sock-‘em Robots t-shirt?

Get the Captain Future poster.
The Big Bang Theory

You’re one step away from full-blown Sheldon already; if not full-blown robot obsession. So what do you do? Go about the day to day with one type of android wonder and leave the other at home. Hanging on the wall, next to the fridge, in front of the bar counter where you make your high-fiber cereal most weekdays. That’s nice.

Have the Sheldon Cooper’s Council of Ladies t-shirt?

Get the You’re My Lobster t-shirt.

The Big Bang Theory, F.R.I.E.N.D.S

You’ve already proven yourself a devotee to one special someone—why not show the same affection for the person in your life living and breathing right in front of you? They’re both cute, classic, and references only the best of minds will understand when you dash out the door.

Feeling Martha Stewart? Snag the elegant Jouets poster for home! Channel your inner style visionary Rachel Green with this piece.

Have Barney’s BroBib?

Get Barney’s Ducky Tie.

How I Met Your Mother

See, the point of the BroBib was to save the lives of countless other ties and shirtfronts that might have suffered the same ketchup-y fate as the Red Tie. You should commemorate the memory of the Red Tie with your very own tie worthy of protection. Bingo! The Ducky Tie, a year-round accessory everyone will love and appreciate and find very smashing, especially on you. True story.

Or just come onto the site for more epic exploring. Don’t toss out your weekend scrolling days right away.

Guys. I Got A New Bro.

I know I talk incessantly about my life goal to become Barney “Bro” Stinson, and scrutinize his every waking moment to see what I might do to reach his tier (pity I couldn’t borrow his Bro Code; I had to get my own instead).

But I haven’t gone over just what types of things I listen out for, specifically within his specific vernacular. And that raises the question—what Barney Stinson sayings top everyone’s lists? I need to pay attention to the needs of Barney’s other pandering fans, as well.

And so, I bring the top five best Barney Stinson-isms, as written by all of you, while CBS airs the tear-jerking, soulful episode of how he acquires his new bro “to beat all other bros’.” Sobs.

#1 “True Story”

Told before stories that may or may not be true. But what am I saying—of course they’re all true! Just take a look at the Jesus parenthetical: “That's why we wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.... True story.” Of course.

#2 “Legen…wait for it…dary!”

Barney’s choice cliff-hanger, reserved for the not-quite-compound adjective. Of the more famous appearances include Barney really making us ‘wait for it,’ like ending an entire season with the stall. Or with quotes like these: “It’s gonna be legend…wait for it…and I hope you’re not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!“

#3 “Bro”

Everyone is bro. Bro is everyone. Much like ‘dude,’ “bro” is gender-inclusive.

#4 “Suit up!”

Everyone knows suits top all the charts, except maybe Ted. Ted really should start wearing a suit more often.

#5 “Article ____:”

When Barney needs to cite The Bro Code, you know you’ve done wrong. Example references include, “Article 2: "A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it,”” and “Article 24: "When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o’clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.””

Have your own? Did I leave any glaring gaps? Show me the error of my ways by sending Cool TV Props a message, or commenting on this post! Now!