A Nice Touch

Life-changing moments in Big Bang Theory, continued (from some other place one lists life-changing moments in Big Bang Theory): Sheldon owns another spot. Even by the conclusion of this episode.
Sound the alarm…or the car-horn.

Sprinkled between the mummies-versus-zombies debate, Howard comes to his friends about his brand new car, kept in parking spot 294. News to us, and the rest of the scientists, however, is that this happens to be Sheldon’s spot; for location, shade, and one “delightful squirrel.”

When Howard and Sheldon really dive into their rut, Bernadette and Amy discover they can’t remain impartial on the issue. But fighting it out—in many ways, I noticed, with much harsher sentiments than either of their husbands—both revealed the ladies’ true colors and brought them closer together in the end. Evidently, Penny’s true color is purple, given the state of her nose. Hope she’s doing okay.

I loved the parallels in this episode best—even Leonard and Penny seemed to have reflecting roles, save that Leonard was spared the brunt of a coffee-can full of coins. At least everyone on both sides knew when enough was enough; even if it took crushed Benadryl and Raj playing mediator to do so.

Another highlight of the episode: did anyone notice Sheldon’s 73 t-shirt? He wore it following stealing Howard’s Iron Man collectible mask. After getting a hold of it in the shop, all you have to do is find the mask, and you too can be all set for Comic Con.

To which I leave you with the episode’s best quotes, instead of a dry-cleaner’s ticket:

“I always listen to myself. It’s one of the great joys of my life.”

-- Sheldon

“Payback. It truly is the B-word, isn’t it?”

-- Sheldon

“Which sounds dirty but I didn’t mean it that way!”

-- Bernadette

“Freakin’ pigs!”
-- Amy

“FYI if you wear that into a bank, they WILL tackle you into the ground.”

-- Sheldon

Until Thursday!

I'm Batman, shh!

Inspired by the artwork, commentary, and “.gif sets” of Big Bang Theory fans this morning, I decided to go right ahead and reveal Sheldon Cooper’s not-best-kept secret:
He can’t keep a secret.

He managed, somehow, not to divulge the 20 minutes missing from his workday to Howard and Raj until the end of the episode, two or three BBT episodes ago, but I’ll chalk that up to “character development.” He certainly gave the two a good scare by the end, anyway.

Although, at the beginning of the series, Sheldon couldn’t keep a secret without careful deliberation and planning: big secrets, small secrets, unrequited secrets and “secrets” (i.e. Leonard telling Amy Sheldon isn’t home, when he’s sitting at his computer desk). He needed a backstory and the name of an Irish lass written on a bar napkin, lest he suffer more painful secret-keeping consequences. In dire situations, he’s even forced to spill The Secret to save his sanity, much to the displeasure of his friends and peers.
Fortunately, everyone seems to know Sheldon can’t withhold information. I think it’s easiest to refrain from pointing out what is and isn’t a secret—he doesn’t usually talk about irrelevant things. It’s the guilt that gets him.

Penny suffers the consequences in Season 2, when she tells Sheldon about her insecurities with her schooling and smarts. Sheldon might have been successful in his endeavor, if one valium-soaked sleepover didn’t make him loopy enough to blab at Leonard’s insistence…leading to a few of the character’s own one-line gems:

Leonard: “What secret? Tell me the secret!”

Sheldon: “…Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can’t tell       Dad.”

Both Leonard and Amy had their turn trying to coax Sheldon to secret—usually about women, or Penny, I might add—but to no avail. We have yet to see Sheldon keep a successful secret…that is, one he considers a secret, anyway. There’s plenty we don’t know about the doctor as of yet. Hopefully, with the momentum of the current season, Sheldon will spill just a little bit more for the viewers.

On the First Day of FRIENDSmas:

“I’m the holiday Armadillo!”

-- Ross

I may or may not devote an occasional series, leading up to the Christmas holiday, of epic FRIENDS Christmas episodes. You’ll get your answer depending on how many more episode recaps I publish.

This episode focuses on the endearing Ross, trying to bring Hanukkah cheer to his son, Ben, already broken-hearted for lack of a visit from Santa. Those of you well-enough acquainted with the episode already know: Ross barters with a costume-retailer and finds…an armadillo.
Keep in mind Ross only asked if there was something, anything. And the retailer comes up with…armadillo.

I wonder if the FRIENDS staff came across an armadillo costume they needed to use, or lose.

“Well come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted, coming all the way from…Texas!”

-- Monica

After Chandler and his enthusiastic Santa role—despite the lack of bowlful-of-jelly-belly—discourages Ben further, Ross collaborates and brings Santa along in a second visit to Ben, just in time for Christmas.

“Um, because if Santa and the Holiday Armadillo are even in the same room for too long, the universe will implode! Merry Christmas!”

-- Chandler, after Ben asks why he (Santa) has to leave.

I actually really like that they give attention to the topic, for the year it premiered, especially. Media exposes the issue more, now, but then the object of FRIENDS was to relate to common issues and, more importantly, offer ways to teach audiences to breach those issues. With comedy.
True, not every audience member relates to some of their crazier antics (I think of wearing a turkey on your head, right off the bat), but a prevalent topic sits just under the Armadillo costume. After all, he worked real hard to get all the way to Manhattan from Texas.

I’m not going to try and fit an armadillo in a pair tree for you—I’ll leave you with the promise I’ll consider eleven more days of FRIENDSmas. Until then.

Overruled: Take It Off

There’s a name for a story-within-a-story, or play-within-a-play. Akin to Marshall telling the story of his Trial to the panel, while Ted also tells the story of Marshall’s Trial to his children. Unfortunately, only a few names stand out fresh in my mind: Bro-beans. “Nicest Hotel Guest.” Baby-hands.

Readers: the latest episode of How I Met Your Mother.

Marshall soon discovers, while preparing a case against his former law-school friend Brad, he has to bring the burn against the likes of actor Joe Manganiello and the episode’s namesake: the carefully-allotted, all female jury.
And one delighted judge.
Brad’s below-the-belt tactic makes Marshall’s tactful, cute approach (no, literally, he brought a baby duckling to the case…quack) look grim; yet, over-reachers always over-reach. While filming a shoot on the polluted Frog Lake to support his case for Gruber Pharmaceuticals, Brad develops the very skin rash Marshall claims stemmed from the pollution itself. Marshall won his case for his career…but not the lawsuit amount he envisioned.

However, he won the war via several other battles. First, he got his old bro-beans back by reminding him just how important standing up for the little-guy remained in his life. I think we’ll see Brad again as a re-appearing feature to Marshall’s law firm. Second, Marshall realized himself better suited to be the man making the tough—but fair—calls. He story-tells throughout his appeal for judgeship.

As for the other four friends? While observing Marshall’s career making-or-breaking case, they both take in the courtroom atmosphere and reflect on their own raucous teen years. In an effort to prove who’s the most “badass,” they try and outdo one another with outstanding after outstanding (and…inflated) story.
For the third consecutive episode in a row, the program ended with the highly anticipated height of Barney and Robin’s relationship revelation. I might have been less than thrilled that Barney called off the chase for Robin’s heart, but I still hold out hope. What did “huh” mean, Robin? What did it mean?!

While the rest of you on the internet continue your cyber-Monday shopping, I’ll be reading more reviews and waiting, of course, for next Monday’s episode. See you then!

So "Zazzy": The Soft Kitty Speculation

 Climbing down from the excitement of Thanksgiving, I find myself looking at the calendar, wondering why I feel a distinct withdrawal from Big Bang Theory. Alas, because the network rightly acknowledged the holiday, a new episode didn’t air this past Thursday. This leaves me with the need to find something nostalgic about the series to analyze for all of you.
The added fact that I’m cold due to an untimely Florida cold snap, typing this while wrapped in a blanket, can only mean I need to take another peek at Sheldon Cooper’s favorite illness go-to. No, not prescription medicine direct from the university labs, or his mother’s chicken noodle—I mean soft kitty, warm kitty. You can finish the rest of that sentence.

I’ll spare you all the full lyrics, besides that the lullaby describes an adorably fluffy, purring “kitty.” The mental image soothed young Sheldon when he was sick at home, or otherwise put out by something he didn’t understand as a child. Contrary to the rest of his behavior, cats have always seemed to brighten Sheldon’s spirits in some regard. Maybe one cat could do Sheldon a whole lot of good. Perhaps Leonard overstepped himself when he made Sheldon get rid of all his adopted cats.
I say he should have hung onto Zazzles.

The first time Penny exercises her vocal talents, fulfilling the role of soft-kitty-soprano, Sheldon locked himself out of his apartment and needed to spend a night at hers. Here, we see Sheldon’s blatant attachment to his house and home (never mind the obvious hint, with Sheldon’s “spot” on the sofa) as he gets homesick not halfway through the evening.
Sheldon later returns the favor in season 3, when she dislocates her shoulder and endures powerful…and head-spinning…pain medication. Somehow, they succeed in completing the number in a round.

A large hinge to their friendship revolves around the musical number, in hindsight. It’d figure the on-again-off-again single sweetheart and the solitary scientist would bond over something as simple, cute, and sometimes maniacal, as cats.

And you thought I'd forget "Slapsgiving"

After Black Friday (weekend) and all the hullaballoo to follow the traditional Thanksgiving festival, I’m sure more than a few shoppers deserved a little slaps-giving themselves. Your treat.

Though that’s not quite what I mean when I use the term. No, “slapsgiving” is a How I Met Your Mother trope. Marshall coined the phrase when he taunted Barney with his upcoming “third slap,” in the third season of the series.

Third slap? Let me refresh your memories:

To be concise, blunt, and to horrify you negligent watchers with lack of details, I’ll only say this: Barney and Marshall held a “slap bet” on whether or not Robin had ever done porn in her life (part of the potential reasons why Robin “hates malls,” the initial subject of the bet). Revealing the opening to an old music-video number she created, Barney mistook the video for porn and pre-emptively slapped Marshall.

He…was wrong. The eighties-trend video was not, in fact, pornography.
Despite the understandable confusion, Lily gave Barney two options: either to receive ten slaps from Marshall then and there, or be surprised by five slaps at random, for the rest of eternity. Barney chose the latter; thus far, to his disfavor.

And the season three Thanksgiving episode--the first where Marshall and Lily are married--threatens Barney with Marshall’s third “slap.” Back to present.

To make their first Thanksgiving a true success, Lily decides there shall be no slap-giving. Only gracious presents. Although, during the last ten seconds of Marshall withholding his slap, Barney oversteps the line (again) by taunting Marshall for the grief he imposed throughout the day. To which, siding with Marshall, the Slap Bet Commissioner (Lily) lets Marshall slap Barney three seconds early.

Cue, “You Just Got Slapped.”

Barney received his fourth slap thus far, once again on Thanksgiving, making Thanksgiving in the Marshall-Lily household one for the wincing. The fifth slap has thus far been uncalled.
Thus far.

Fans Talk: “Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock”

“Ooh, I don’t think so. No, anecdotal evidence suggests that in the game of rock-paper-scissors, players familiar with each other will tie 75 to 80% of the time due to the limited number of outcomes. I suggest rock-paper-scissors- lizard-Spock.”

-- Sheldon Cooper

The suggestion heard ‘round the world. Fan raised eyebrows the day this episode aired, all the way back in Season 2, and they still haven’t stopped talking about the possibilities the new game presents: for the classic rock-paper-scissors itself, or for re-inventing known game classics all over the place. I present: rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock.

In Season 2, episode 8, the “Lizard-Spock” expansion, the title means precisely what it says: Sheldon suggests, to decide what movie they should watch one night, to settle the tiff with a round of rock-paper-scissors…lizard, Spock. On the premise the ordinary match would lead to a tie, the roommates and Raj prepare for a three-person expanded version. The game works as follows:

“It’s very simple. Look, scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard. Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock. Spock vaporizes rock. And as it always has, rock crushes scissors.”

-- Sheldon Cooper

Before I could wonder as to how paper disproves Spock (nothing disproves Spock), the boys drew their choices and came up with--shocker of all shockers--Spock’s hand-symbol. I didn’t have to be Dr. Cooper to guess the concurrent odds of that happening.

In fact, the fans enjoyed the amendment so much it reared its head again in two later episodes. Next, when Sheldon and Howard bicker over a comic book later in the season (Howard suggests the game, but Sheldon ironically decides not to gamble his chances with the issue. I guess he learned from last time). Then, not until Season 5, when Sheldon finds himself in another argument with the insufferable Kripke and Raj suggests they solve their dilemma lizard-Spock style. Kripke leads the two of them to explain the game a few times (talk about tongue twisters) before they realize he’s teasing them and doesn’t plan on playing.

I guess he just didn’t know what he was missing.

The Peephole Frame

The same peephole-frame decorating Monica and Rachel’s front door for ten full seasons (not missing a single episode) actually had a rocky—and coincidental—start. Yet the iconic frame remains the most notable piece of F.R.I.E.N.D.S set equipment…even if the tech crew didn’t intend its use. Perhaps the piece faded into the background in lieu of more interesting scenes; namely, for me, every eavesdropping scene in eleven years of show-time. Or ducks in the hallway, or dropped desserts, or kitchen-side arguments and mish-mashed recipes. The yellow mount also marked the end of an era, the subject of the very last “frame” for the close of the series. Frameception.

Actually, the frame itself began as a wall-mirror. One of the workers on set, prior to filming, broke the mirror before it could be used. So they didn’t have to waste any of the set, the crew hung it over the peephole, where it remained as speculative evidence for surrealism in nineties TV shows.
Fortunately, we don’t need Wikipedia articles to identify the frame as F.R.I.E.N.D.S memorabilia—or to find a way to feature it over your front door.

Enter, CoolTVProps. Just in time for the holiday season (making this my very first of many holiday articles), the life-size frame is up for pre-order online. Large enough to use over a peephole, or to replace an ordinary frame, the 12.5 by 11 piece is hand-crafted by an artisan to appear vintage and classic. Just don’t go about breaking it like the F.R.I.E.N.D.S set-hands.
If the frame is a little large for your needs, the key-chain version or fridge magnet is about a tenth the size, though just as noteworthy and thoughtful.

The frame might have been an accident to start. Yet, it rose its way through the seasons to earn the highest title-spot of all. Make it last past the screen in your own home; buy any two F.R.I.E.N.D.S products today and get the keychain for free!

“I…I can’t do this.”

This episode felt a little in-the-wind for me (no, not going to make an awful Brad pun here), but I did appreciate the brand-new addendums to the gang’s regular shenanigans. I think these have their rightful spots in HIMYM history: the “Stamp of Approval,” Dishwalla, Doctor X, college days. And apparently, Barney’s hitherto, but perhaps assumable, association with strip clubs.
But we’ll get to that later.

Barney self-fived himself through a clever run of strip-club hunting, once the Lusty Leopard shut its clientele and left Barney to consider his other, local options. While he did go with another front-runner, he discovered a lot about himself along the way. One: that even heartless-he is susceptible to charity and the well-meaning hearts of the elderly. As is Robin. Two: that he’s the LeBron of strip clubs New York-over. Three: That Robin isn’t ready to re-progress with their relationship, even though he’s clearly still in love with her.
Wait. That’s not funny. That’s really, really sad. Excuse me while I find a new Kleenex box.

Onto Ted and Lily, where Lily proves she beat Ted at his own “Stamp of Approval” game, contrary to his rickety memory. Glad he kept his Doctor X tapes (despite their record of Ted’s “uncool” college years); otherwise, his recollections would have been shaky enough to ignore his only, yet most important, SoA: convincing Marshall to keep seeing Lily in the first place. Nailed it, Ted.

Marshall finally gets a cliffhanger in his own right this episode, where reuniting with his former friend Brad leaves him in the courtroom dust—with his distrustful boss. The next episode means the difference between the best career move of Marshall’s life (that we know of) and returning home unemployed. The rest simply remains to be seen.

I want Marshall to pull through, as I’m sure the rest of you do, too, but I am curious about what life will bring him without the restraints of an office…and a new baby to boot. Will we see a bit of Barney and Robin revival? Will Ted toss those Doctor X tapes after all?
Until next Monday, and a happy Thanksgiving from How I Met Your Mother!

Fans Talk: “The One With Ross’s Tan”

On the days I feel like I’m suffering from more F.R.I.E.N.D.S withdrawal—I know, I know, ‘don’t you suffer every day from F.R.I.E.N.D.S withdrawal?’—I comb social media websites and see which episodes fans love best. Today, oddly enough, the not-so-hidden Season 10, Episode 3 gem kept sifting out of the mud: The One With Ross’s Tan.

Half-tan. “The eight.” Mississippi’s rating went down in the course of a half-hour time slot.

Worker: “You got two more two’s?”

Ross: “I am an eight!”

Ross tries, and fails, to achieve Monica’s lustrous spray-tan glow this episode, nor does he properly copy the tanning-bed worker’s own skin tone. When he asked what darkness the worker used used, the worker dryly replied, “Puerto Rican.”

At first showing off his error, Ross then spends the remainder of the episode in seclusion—only to venture out one more time, in the hopes of evening out the bronze, and coming upon a double-sided booth.

Ross’s skin faded right as rain come next episode. At least the tan was of the spray variety, nothing as harsh as a potential tanning-bed mishap.

Worker: “Alright, Mr. Geller, right this way! So, how dark do you wanna be?    We have one, two, or three.”

Ross: “Well…I like how you look, what are you?”

Worker: “Puerto Rican.”

Ross: “Two, I think a two.”

Fans weren’t holding their breath Mississippi-counting to weigh their opinions on this episode, however. The head-nods runs as follows:

“Okay I'm going to tell you flat out straight. Ross was extremely hilarious in this episode. He spray tanned by six twos and became a twelve on one side and a zeros on the other.”

-- Seabono12

“"How do you count to 5?" "1,2,3..." "Damn it!"”

-- Seriesguy3998

“Insanely orange.”

-- Abiteddyluv

I bid adieu with my favorite quote from the episode:

              Ross: “Go away! I don't want to see anybody.”                             

Chandler: “I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.          “
Ross: “Really? Did you count Mississipily?...Dude, you’re not tanned.”
Chandler: “No, I just had to get a picture of this.”

Knockknockknock...

...Amy? Penny? Sometimes even, Sheldon?

The sidelong joke began in the series as just another of Sheldon Cooper’s OCD habits—two episodes ago, he even realized in a full-on drunken stupor he only knocked on Will Wheaton’s house twice—and evolved into a huge hallmark of the Big Bang Theory series.

(Fun fact: on more than one early occasion, the number of knocks was actually four. The fans remember three, more rhythmically, and three is the number featured on many a t-shirt!)

To celebrate the classic parallel to the original brand of humor, a brief overview of the more classic “knock-knock-jokes.”

Reasons why Sheldon’s knocked on Penny’s door (usually during crude waking hours):

Penny: “Sheldon, what is it?”

Sheldon: “Leonard’s asleep.”

Penny: “…Thanks for the update.”

Sheldon: “Penny. Penny. Penny.”

Penny: “What?”

Sheldon: “This is banana bread.”

Penny: -pointing to the door- “This is a doorknob.”

Sheldon: “Penny. Penny--”

Penny: “What?”

Sheldon: -knocks one more succession- “…Penny.”

Sheldon: -after checking his watch- “Penny. Penny. Penny.”

Penny: Opens the door. Sheldon braces himself.

Penny: “…Sheldon.”

Sheldon: “It’s 11 a.m.”

Penny: “I know. You’re safe.”

(Don’t you just love continuity?)

Sheldon: -knocks- “Penny--”

Penny: -knocks from her side- “Sheldon.”

Sheldon: “…Penny.”

Penny: “Sheldon.”

Sheldon: “Penny.”

Penny: “Sheldon?”

Sheldon: “Penny!”

Penny: “Sheldon!”

And who can forget the episode where Penny slips in the shower and hurt her arm? One of the more touching (figuratively) and realistic episodes: it showed that Sheldon really can be called upon in times of crisis, even if it takes him six knocks, and the beginnings of a bathroom-door knock, to do so.

One automated computer voice, one Flash Gordon knock, and one apology knock later, Sheldon ended up cementing his relationship with Penny through routine after all; albeit not in the way even he expected. I’m sure the day Sheldon can walk freely into Penny’s (or, now, Amy’s, apartment) without the subsequent knocks would be a day the fans remember well.

I’ll never get to 43 again!

For lacking a Bernadette and Amy, this episode of Big Bang Theory still proved to be the cleaner, quainter, and on the whole, more progressive episodes we’ve seen this season. Leonard finds love (and that he’s more attractive than he realizes), Penny finds emotions, Sheldon finds clarity, and Raj and Howard scare themselves silly.

…Sounds fun.

When Sheldon’s done doodling a wormhole on the edge of his napkin at lunch, his friends realize he takes up twenty minutes each day a week locked in a basement doing something with the letter 43. I personally would have been more invested in Raj and Howard’s search effort if I weren’t so offended Raj got the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy number wrong. 42! The answer is 42, how does one not know that? Regardless, I’m glad they brought the wormhole joke full circle—no pun intended. Maybe.

Tell you what, claps for Sheldon. When he tells off Raj and Howard for spying, he’s the most concise and pure I’ve seen Dr. Sheldon Cooper in a VERY long time.

Meanwhile, Penny gains a school project partner and Leonard gains jealousy on his shoulder. Jealousy is a clouding judgment; it doesn’t let you see when someone else might be knocking on your door (Alex, better watch yourself). For all the bickering and low-brow and back-and-forth this episode, however—I seriously cringed over Leonard’s gang effort—the snuck-in “I love you” socked me in the stomach. I’ll just sit over here and make believe the crying meant something good. I wish it did; the scenario was harder for me to read, but I guess we’ll learn all about that next Thursday.

Tonight’s quotables are:

“That’s just the tip of the sadness iceberg.”

-- Leonard

“Corduroy makes too much noise, and I need to find quieter pants.”

-- Alex

“What is 43, besides my mom’s neck size?”

-- Howard

And we now have a fast and easy way to describe Leonard Hofstadter’s positive attributes to outsiders:

Ø  Taste in friends

Ø  Good sleeper

Ø  Buys the grapes Sheldon likes

The Best Wingman

 The day after a new episode airs, I usually scan the vast social media web and glean what the fans thought of the program. Never mind my recaps—those are my own reactions, usually from JUST after the credits roll. Now the fans get their turn and, while combing through the likes of Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr, one theme repeats itself over and over:

All the fans are “skreeing” over Barney and Robin.

Barney and Robin, Barney and Robin. The couple-that-was, the bro’s, the “best wingman ever.” I knew I was excited they (very nearly) reunited a number of times over the course of this episode and the last. And it wouldn’t have been the first time Barney hid his feelings, or they dated behind the backs of their friends—and viewers—alike.

But before any such event occurs, we get to explore the reactions of the general public.

The winning quote? “I am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her. More than she knows.” While I cringe at the thought, admittedly, some Twilight diehards might be thankful for this script similarity to the vampire love story’s famous line.

Gifs, paneled images, brought back to life the “best wingman” line from the episode before, along with “reaction-images” of Marshall screaming to best convey their collective “feels.”

Yes, the fans are re-examining the best and worst of their past relationships, from the troubled car-rides to the legen—dary makeups, to the yellow raincoat Robin wore when they kissed in the rain. Remind anyone of a certain…umbrella?

They all agree upon one thing: Barney and Robin were a good couple. They remain wholly convinced—I’m not being biased, I promise—Robin still has a “hold on [Barney’s] heart.” For now, at least; only some fans wish forever more, as well.

One last fun fact: six languages.
The number of languages I counted when I read multiple quotes of Barney’s “false” love confession to Nick. HIMYM is truly a global phenomenon.

Is There Another Architect?

Architects not fixing, lawyers not managing, people both breaking and reassembling connections. Or, more like, makeups and breakups. Splits.

Banana splits.

However you want to string together this episode’s key events, a few highlights made me laugh too loudly for the time of night. Pretty sure I almost threw my computer mid-sentence a couple times.

Lilly started the show with the makings of a Reasons Not To Have Sex list, the two starters being 1. Taking care of a baby and 2. Having a pulled groin ligament. Never mind minor-league basketball, pay more attention to Nadia and her pet snake.

Nick and Robin’s conflicts come to a head, a paycheck, and a confession, by the end of the half-hour. Now that Nick is all bark and no bite, Robin realizes his bark lacks more than a little substance. Barney gives her this ultimatum: break up with Nick that evening, before his injury heals, or he’ll send an automated invite to her feared stalker/fangirl/co-worker Peatrice.

I personally was overjoyed by Peatrice’s cameo. While I pitied the worker initially, I can sympathize with Robin after hearing the woman’s excitable phone call at the end of the episode—you can imagine her voice practically before she opens her mouth.

Do I sense a Barney and Robin couple-reunion on the horizon?! I kept going back and forth and, like Robin, thought Barney sounded a little too convincing for his own good, despite all his impassioned-speech practicing.

We concluded the “autumn of breakups” with the T-Squares, Splitsville, time management skills, and the still-stunning feat of Marshall bending a metal bar with his hands. He may have finally found quality time with Lily, but I’d be the last to make him stop his workouts. Nice change, family man.

“But I could not stop loving [Robin] any more than I can stop breathing.”

-- Actual words from the mouth of Barney Stinson

Not All Love and Games

Listing Lilly’s entire brainchild, 50 Reasons to Have Sex, would take my full word count and then some—the actual list can be found here. Because the fabulous full-scale poster doesn’t place the context of this McClaren’s catalogue, I’ll defend the right to the list without mentioning once the conundrum of “the naked man.” Save that for another article.

Although, while Robin defended her right for sex against Marshall’s inferior-than name calling, I’d like to point out Marshall fell trap a strong impression when his secretary club forced him into watching The Notebook. This may not be a very fair assessment, however; I don’t know anyone personally that wasn’t arm-twisted into watching The Notebook at least once.

Running to Robin’s aid, Lilly then touted she could name at least fifty reasons one could have sex—from the “logical” and practical, to the extreme. Marshall’s true love naïveté might have been rudely awakened—though judging by their newborn son, Lilly might have been all the awakening he needed.

(I should note, because there was no #51, she can technically drop ‘at least’ from her claim. Still, 50 is an impressive feat for bar-napkin scrawl.)

The “reasons,” if not more like “excuses,” range from the opportune to the timed to the spontaneous. Many options focus on a “win.” Might I point out #19: “Celebrate major victory by favorite team and/or political candidate?” A more gruesome take, #26, reads: “Celebrating the joy of life after a near-death experience.”
In other words, YOLO.

Every other option, besides those including a “new” something, “old” something, or procrastinating—especially as the list stretches on—could make a few viewers raise their eyebrows. Or laugh uncomfortably.
#33: “Keeping up with the neighbors.” #37: “They have air conditioning and you don’t.” #41: “Because she looks like your super hot cousin and this is the closest it’ll ever get to being okay.”

I’m not sure I’ll find any of the above on The Notebook, though the gang certainly didn’t need a notebook to come up with fifty reasons to have sex.

Roommate Agreement, Part II: The Power of Friendship

Although we’ve long since dissected the original roommate agreement, having a copy sitting in front of me (and hey—you could, too,) opened my eyes to one key fact: a healthy number of addendums discuss how the two roommates can and cannot help each other. Also, how Leonard must assist Sheldon during certain key scenarios.

Its interesting to note that in times of need, year, and robot-invasion, the two scientists always have a plan of action: Sheldon’s plan of action. Let’s go over the headlining clauses and how Leonard has to do the brunt of the work.

1. Body-Snatchers Clause (S2 Ep6): “Leonard will help Sheldon destroy someone who they know has been replaced by an alien pod.” Oddly specific, but anyway;

2. Distress Clause (Section 9) (S3 Ep22):  “The apartment flag – a gold lion rampant on a field of azure – should never fly upside down unless the apartment is in distress.”

And I have yet to see such a heralding banner. For shame, Sheldon Cooper!

3. Time Travel Clause (Section 9)(S3 Ep22): If one of the roommates ever invents time travel, the first stop has to aim exactly five seconds after this clause was signed. Spoiler alert: they didn’t.

4. Robot Clause (Section 74.C) (S4 Ep2): “Leonard must assist Sheldon if he ever becomes a robot.” I suppose that beats android-destruction (I’m personally not a fan).

And yet, for all the crazy possibilities, Leonard finds himself reciprocated one way:

Leonard’s Day (S5 Ep15): “Once a year, Leonard and Sheldon will take one day to celebrate the contributions Leonard makes to Sheldon’s life, both real and in Leonard’s mind. Leonard does not get breakfast in bed, the right to sit in Sheldon’s spot, or the right to alter the thermostat.  The only thing that Leonard shall receive is a card.”

Between shuttling Sheldon to-and-from work, allotted outdoor-hours every other Sunday, standing meal-nights, and the advantage of being able to pull the plug in emergency situations (yeesh), the show proves over and over Leonard surpasses all others in patience to even cosign such an astounding agreement. Until next Thursday!

Fun With Flags

Amy: “It’s called ‘Fun With Flags.’ They’re not at half-mast, nobody died, let’s keep it upbeat.”

Pretty sure Sheldon’s web-based show (does anyone else recall an earlier reference to the breakthrough?) could have been a suitable title for this episode, with a few tweaks. Fun With Sheldon. Fun With Moving. Fun With Tea.

Amy might be neurotic and uptight, but she doesn’t hold her ground dating Sheldon Cooper for nothing. Sheldon fails (in true Texas fashion) to defend her honor the first time when she and Will Wheaton argue over directing. He later fraternizes with the enemy, while remaining characteristically oblivious of Amy’s mood. When he does eventually lament to Penny about the situation—and when chamomile tea fails to calm his nerves, so Penny recommends tea of the “Long Island” variety—a boost of reality and alcohol-blood levels give him the kick in the pants he needs to fight for his “lady-folk.” Not so much for retaining his dinner.

 Meanwhile, Howard Wolowitz finally moves out of his mother’s house. At first. After spending the episode going back and forth between his anxiety and Bernadette’s understandable insistence, I found myself shocked to see the gutted second floor bedroom. Then, touched when I heard the magic trick story and truth behind his attachment to his mother. She needed him like he needed her.

I’m not sure whether or not Howard will stay out of the next for good, or whether Sheldon’s learned not to take tea advice (though he’s free to take girl advice) from Penny, but I found myself pretty sure of tonight’s quotables:

Amy: “I’m mad at you, Sheldon.”
Sheldon: “Hmm. Eat one of your Luna bars.”

Howard: “She patted me on the back and I happened to burp.”

Penny:  “[Long Island iced tea has] calmed the pants off me a couple times.”

Sheldon: “[Amy’s] a unique blend of Saint and squirrel.”

Sheldon: “I’ll tell you…I’m from Texas. Need I say more?”

What If Joey Was President?

As iconic a show as Friends became for all the 2000’s and before, a good number of set paraphernalia became familiar sights for TV-show audiences. Anyone could recognize a decoration in either Joey and Chandler’s, or Monica and Rachel’s apartments at a glance, with little to no effort at all!

Which brings me to the less-recognizable poster, though just as important, that remained a permanent part of Chandler and Joey’s place, no matter the marriages, houseguests, or how many times the lease changed hands (or added roommate editions).  This would be the Laurel and Hardy poster from the back wall, a black and white photo still out of the 1928 movie Leave Them Laughing, one year after Laurel and Hardy became the iconic team they’re known as today.

But who were Laurel and Hardy? More than that, why this poster, of all posters?

I don’t think its any accident Laurel and Hardy, two male comedic pairs, found themselves the backdrop of Joey and Chandler’s lives…two more male comedic pairs.

The parallels don’t stop there. The Laurel and Hardy brand of comedy evoked slapstick humor, where Laurel was the more naïve relief to the pompous Hardy. Let’s picture that a second: who else do we know so naïve and perhaps a little slow, elbow-to-elbow with someone so sarcastic and quick to talk back?

Oh. Right.

What’s more, the two interacted on the silver screen a la “tit for tat,” or using equivalent retaliation, where one side matches another side’s action. AKA, when one person speaks, the other answers. When one person pulls a practical joke, the other responds in kind. Or, as good “friends” should, when one person needs a helping hand, word of advice (however contrived), or laugh, the other can be depended on just as easily.

Now I think that’s a comparison we can all easily recognize.

Let's Talk: Beverly Hofstadter

I’m not here to sit down and have a chat with you all about Halloween, for once. You know what that means—the holiday season is upon us and I’ll annoy you that way instead. Still, it could be worse: you could lack any sort of holiday festivities, decorations, gifts, blog posts. Who could endure such a cold, cruel world, you ask?

Leonard could. He has, and does, until he sets up his first Christmas tree on the set of Big Bang Theory. All thanks to the shining grace of two-odd episodes: Beverly Hofstadter, Leonard’s psychologist.
And his mother.

If Leonard thought he could escape her insight by moving out and working at the University, he thought right…up until he met Sheldon. It took a brain scan to determine, but like mother like roommate, from smarts and wiles to how they behave when they’re drunk (scenario notwithstanding). Leonard may not get it “any way he wants it,” but he gets…something. A good dose of amusement, I’m sure.

Not to mention the scene when he brings her to work in an effort to justify his worth. Beverly turns Doctor on the entire gang, especially diagnosing then-single Howard and Raj’s relationship. In her words, the duo created an “Ersatz homosexual marriage” out of their friendship to “satisfy their need for intimacy.” Sure, they bickered like an old married couple, but what would the new Mrs. Wolowitz have to say about that?

Quotables include:

    ‘So, Dr. Hofstadter, Leonard rarely talks about his incredibly successful brother and sister. I understand that unlike Leonard, they’re at the top of their respective fields.’

    —

    ‘Howard lives with his mother and Raj can’t speak to women unless he’s drunk.’

     -- Howard and Leonard, in retaliation.

Perhaps Beverly administers the advice the cast never knew they needed; though for Leonard, she saved an especially warm, “Buck up, sissypants.”

Bon Apa-Sweet

 Was this episode worth the wait? Oh please. Is the French Horn blue? Is Nick the Bad Boy Chef?

 Besides Nick’s cable-access cooking show, the episode ignited all of my feelings for Robin and Ted, Robin and Barney, Barney and Brover and, lastly, Victoria. But we’ll get to all of that in just a moment.

I don’t think anyone is floored that Ted can’t get the hint. Poor Ted. Poor kind, sweet, naïve Ted, who just wants a woman to grow old with. Unfortunately, that woman won’t be Victoria. I’m still holding out hope it’s Robin. Also that Robin and Barney reunite. My feelings are complicated.

           

Episode live-commentary: “She’ll never be in love with me. She’ll never be my wife. She’ll never be the person I grow old with. Victoria…Victora could be.”
-- Ted Mosby. Spoiler alert, she probably isn’t.

Barney discovers the meaning of a “true” wingman. Unlike wingmen, dogs don’t possess wings, but they’re awfully cute and do come to some small service at the end of the day. Literally, for Barney “Bro” Stinson.

Now, am I missing a loop here, or does Marshall’s new hairstyle and collared-sweater attire come as a surprise to anyone else? Lilly’s making an honest man out of him, so it seems. Well. “Honest” and “man” are left up to debate after this episode’s happenings.

Episode live-commentary: “Marshall, why is [your Inner Goddess] Southern?” “Shh, don’t break the connection.”
-- Ted and Lilly, while Marshall was offering The Help.

While I pick my jaw up off the floor after the drastic endscene, I leave you all tonight with the best of: Nick’s catch-phrase search.

“All aboard the chow-chow train!”

“Oh my gosh, who’s ready to nosh?”

“And now, who’s ready to eat my meat? Oh, come on!”

“They’re gonna be bon apa-sweet! Damn.”

Sorry Nick. Not much can really compete with bam!